Or a bunch of average ones.
It Will Take a Special Woman…
…Or a bunch of average ones. That is the dilemma of the divorced married father in this digital age. We have been burned, and we want to find a woman we can love. We want to find a woman who will see the best of us and we can reclaim the romantic, accountable caring version of ourselves that we once had. Finding her is the problem. Hey, they are out there and they are looking for us as well. But getting to the place where we can be honest, open and vulnerable is a no man’s land of WWI proportions. It is filled with land mines, barbed wire and rejections aplenty. Even the most confident guy can get hurt somethin’ awful in this new world of chemical weapons and vindictive divorcees…on both sides. On the one hand we have the douche bags and on the other the cunts.
Sifting through the carnage, we have to be extremely selective (and lonely) or a scatter gun serial dater who makes no connections other than the carnal kind. Let us be clear here. We all want the meaningful relationship. The hookup game is lame and beneath us for our age. Honestly, I have been very descriptive about my dive into the more prurient side of my character. I mean no harm to anyone and I have tried not to offend too many of my readers.
My, albeit feeble, excuse is that I have my eyes on the prize off the sites. There is a person in my life who is more precious to me than I can fairly describe. She makes me want to be a better man. I feel a connection with her that is both unnerving and immediate. There is a sense that she knows she captivates me completely. I find myself staring at her while she plays with her hair, and I wished she could read my mind. It contains more than I could ever express verbally, partly because it is X rated and partly because it cannot happen without life altering chaos. Alas, she is 1000 miles away and we are intractably bound to our present locales.
Perhaps the mere fact that it cannot happen is enough to make me want it more. However, her friendship is so valuable and so true that I know I should not jeopardize it over an immediate attraction. Plus, I think that my desire to see her happy does not involve me. In one way or another, I think that I would not give her what she needs. Is this a lack of confidence? Perhaps. But I think it boils down to the fact that her happiness overrides any self-interest I may have. Which brings us back to dating women who are virtual strangers. There is absolutely no contest. My dear friend, with all of our history and all of my unbridled caveman-like desire makes every woman I meet a poor substitute. They really have no chance. It is not a fair fight.
So, in lieu of intimacy and committed relationships, I have pursued pure carnal satisfaction. In so doing, I have been working on my craft, practicing and expanding my skill set and regaining control of my libido in the wake of nearly a decade of dormancy. Now, for you guys saying, “yea, I do the same with porn,” let me tell you something you need to hear. Your hand versus the body of a thirsty, sweating, lustful woman is no contest. Plus, can your hand replicate the pussy you must surely master with your mouth? I am going to be brutally honest. If you can’t give good head…or if you don’t like it, thank you. For all of the women out there who have had a lover like you, those of us who enthusiastically dive downstairs are so much more appreciated and desired than any stud who goes straight to boning.
Now, some of you ladies are nodding in agreement. Some of you are saying, my man pleases me as best he can without that, and still others are saying, I have my Rabbit, I don’t need him poking around for Gollum’s ring in the Pit of Despair. My apologies for referencing your vagina as a Pit of Despair. The vast majority of vaginas I have experienced have been benignly succulent and desperately captivating. Only a very few have been in need of some sort of rudimentary husbandry. And even those few had an appeal that is undeniable.